Plan B From Outer Space

COMMANDER! Are you alright? We were just flying through space, minding our own alien-business, when – bang! – a meteor hit us right in the quoxel-bladder! Looks like we crash-landed on this strange world. So, chop chop! Use your shapeshifting powers, disguise the ship, and find a way to escape this wretched planet post-haste! Where did we go down? How should I know? I am just a highly developed AI! My scans show we are in a strange land of beer… pretzels... and erm, BAVARIANS! Stay vigilant, stay ready and stay slimy, should the situation demand it. I have a feeling we are not prepared for what’s to come…